We told our ivy-league educated marketing advisor that we were putting a page on color theory on our website. They scoffed at us, not understanding why one would do such a thing. Color? Theory? On a food website? Why? Why would you do such a thing?

You know, you can learn a lot in school, quite a bit, especially at fancy-schmancy New England universities where they make you wear a bow tie to class. But clearly, they don't teach the valuable stuff. They don't teach why one would add a color theory page to the website of a food product. Tut tut.

We didn't learn much in school. In fact, we barely paid attention, didn't do our homework, and as a result, failed grade after grade. We attended a lowly state university on the merits of our standardized test schools and defiantly failed out of university as well.

One could accurately assess us, judge us, and declare, "they are philistines!" "They are know-nothings!". Ok. Well, look here pardner, around these parts, we wear the gray badge of condemnation with pride.

We are but simple toilers, laborers in the CRNCHI CRNCHE mines whacking away at the substrate of palatability in service of the great yum yum god. We learned all we needed to know on the dark streets of LA, in the snooty art houses, upon the stages large and small, in the barrios, on the walk of fame, in Ashton Kutcher's miserable concrete mansion in the Hollywood Hills. And I tell you what. We understand why a page on color theory belongs on a food website.

Okay okay, you're right Mr. Double Degree in Nanotechnology and Public Relations. We don't know our Chemistry and we don't know our PR. Sorry cool kids, we don't have knowledge of how to synthesize rash-inducing designer drugs in your mom's third husband's Tahoe guest cottage without getting the neighborhood declared a superfund site. Condensation reaction? Ohhhh I thought you said redox reaction! HAHAHAHA

But we know why a page on color theory belongs on a food website.

In LA and in all the cities of the world that are arts hubs, you'll find something that's called a "white box art gallery". You enter the front door and behold, you are literally standing inside a white box. Sometimes the white box has a doorway that leads to another room which will be another white box. And another. The floor is white, the walls are white, and sometimes, if they are framed and drywalled, the ceilings are white.

The purpose of this austere space is that you can put any object in the room and voila, you have art. An old shoe? Art. A new shoe? Art. Your neighbors trash after you rummaged through it? Art. A mile of rope? Art. A really cool painting? Art.

Any object placed within a neutral and unstimulating context immediately compels hyperfocus and examination. After all, there's nothing else to get your attention in the room. Additionally, within the white, box the standard context for the object is erased. A sneaker is no longer a sneaker; it is an assemblage of leather, vinyl, fabric, a cultural statement, a functional promise, an artifact of a transport, it is the whisper of a foot in darkness.

Is this making sense? Within this siren's call of examination there are tens of thousands of artist statements, theses, postulations, reflections, social commentary, Via the detached box of white, an entire universe is created by the art therin.

The white on our label, on our website represents and respects the white box. It also represents the simple, basic foods CRNCHI CRNCHE can breathe a new cosmos into, granting a fresh, invigorated, throbbing and tasty heart. Without CRNCHI CRNCHE, the simple food, the unadorned staple is nothing- just mere sustenance, a vessel for your vessel. Mundus simplex purus. A plain world. A clean world.

No.

Mundus taediosus! Mundus tristis! Mundus depressus! A tedious world! A dreary world! A depressed world!

Which is why we made CRNCHI CRNCHE. Scarlet, carmine, burgundy, marigold, golden honey, like the vitality of the sunset, like the power juice in our arteries! we did not make CRNCHI CRNCHE for nourishment, we made CRNCHI CRNCHE- which is red and orange- for life! For life itself.

Should we not fully utilize the sense we are granted? Sight, smell, taste, touch are all used when eating, but under-resepected, perhaps even disrespected.

The gleaming balmy glow of CRNCHI CRNCHE, the infinite chaotic patterning of our flowing ingredients beats down the white! Stands against the white box! Revolutionizes the white experience and instills stimulation!

There. Now you know why we have color theory on our food product website. It's important. You may decry this screen as a piddly concept, or a groaning philosophy but nope! It's the guiding star, our vision.

Caged inside our own white box, we wanted our meals to be better! More than better- amazing! We knew there were new, undiscovered worlds of flavor! Why should we not live life to the fullest! We have to eat every day! Why should our foodstuffs be disappointing, why must cooking be time consuming or require deft skill to be excellent?

So we made CRNCHI CRNCHE to evolve our own humble daily meals- potatoes, ramen, rice, dumplings, mac and cheese, burgers and so on- to turn them into taste events. Now! We finally, finally have at hand,scrumptious, nectarous, luscious, meals with ease.

The white box be damned. For we, we have CRNCHI CRNCHE.

And now, so can you.